The other day I spent some time with my son, limbs dangled over each other, downloading songs from iTunes and re-doing our playlists - connection for both of us. Shortly thereafter, the tunes were cranked up in the lounge room and my youngest yelled, hips and limbs in a dancing frenzy, "come dance with me!"... how could I refuse such an offer?? Time to play....
So there we were, the three of us, dancing, jumping, jiving, jiggling and giggling to each other and to no one, in rhythm to the music...when my middle daughter entered the room and 'flumped' down on the couch in front of me - still clearly in a pre-teen funk, scowl included. This was another invitation to play, even though it didn't look like one and I was so jazzed up on good vibes I dived right in...
Note: this means full blown daggy, uncoordinated, madonna-vogue-style moves, followed by a "come hither" finger wiggle. No room for self-consciousness or 'proper' dancing - this is the time to ham it up!
Still not enough to get her out. damn.
Ok. Time to take it to the next level - yes, you know it, I pulled out the old "lasso" move and proceeded to spin it in the air before sending it out to wrap around her and pretend to pull her up onto the 'dance floor'. You think this would work, but no, it took 3 goes at lassoing before she was laughing so hard all anger and resistance had dissipated and she joined us once again jumping and jiggling, jiving and promenading on the dance floor. Good times.
It was at this point the iTunes Oracle kicked in (yes thats a real thing, I'm naming it!). The iTunes Oracle is incredible, I'll write a "how to use this intuitive tool" blog one day, but back to our story. The Oracle consistently cranked out tunes with the most appropriate lyrics, which I didn't hesitate in "taking up" and singing out to my daughter. Lyrics like:
"Give me your attitude not your drama"
"I challenge you to a dance off - no trash talk, no back walk, just me you dance off, right now dance off"
"I see that you want to play the fool, so let's get ridiculous!"
and still killing it with:
"Don't act like you know me, I am not your homey, you don't know me, fuck yeah"
Shortly after this divine mash of laughter, body-movement and connection we decided to go on a family walk to a local granite creek. The tunes of course, came with us. It was on this drive to the creek that I continued to play "iTunes Oracle", which by now everyone was joining in on, that I remarked to my husband "You know, I think I could parent by lyrics, not even kidding".
And then I thought, this is genius! I think it could really be a thing. For instance, how many times do you want to say to your kids:
"Stop with your chit chat you're killing my vibe"
"Please hold your tongue don't say a damn thing"
But don't. Well now in lyrical version, you can!
Or how about the times you're teaching manners? The lyrics have you sorted...
"Do you want a drink? No, thanks for asking"
Maybe you're just in the chaos of it all and need to express it? The Oracle has you covered...
"I lost my shoes last night, can't find my keys"
"I get lonely and I make mistakes from time to time"
Or those times you want to get a little mushy, but your kids are too eye-rolly to get 'serious'?? Again, the lyrics have your back...
"My mothers proud of me from each grace upon my knuckle to each scar upon my knee"
"I'm gonna give you all of my love, nobody matters like you love"
"I'm gonna do what I got to do, rockabye baby, somebody's got you"
Or maybe you're a bit less mushy and a bit more like, WTF?? Maybe in you're head you're thinking....
"You're on a highway to hell"
But as we're all conscious parents, right?? We'll likely be saying instead....
"I'm laid back, I'm feeling this"
Followed by more self-motivational talk like:
"Uh-oh, I close my eyes, well oh, I got stamina"
"And oh, I see another mountain to climb, but I, I got stamina"
"Don't give up, I won't give up, don't give up"
And then maybe, just maybe, you'll allow yourself to express the marvelousness and magic of you and you guessed it, share it with everyone loud and proud in lyrical form!...
"I'm free to be the greatest, I'm alive"
Or maybe you'll give yourself permission to express it all through the lyrical genius Ed Sheeran, AC/DC, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Flo Rida, Jax Jones, Refoo, Timmy Trumpet & Savage, Clean Bandit and Sia.
Then perhaps you'll send a little prayer of thanks to your son for his consciously formed playlist - you rock.
Julie Tenner is Co-founder of Nourishing The Mother and is The Pleasure Nutritionist. Julie is a Naturopath, specialising in women’s and children's health, with specific focus on awakening women to their full potential – health for the mind, body and soul – creating lasting life change for you and your family by “coming home” to your magnificence.